My current exhibition SEEKING HAPPY is on display at Urban Cow Studios until the end of July 2021. I want to share with you a little about this body of work that is so incredibly personal and deeply raw.
I am fascinated by our quest for happiness. I've been considering where happiness is found, its duration, its departure and the waiting and anticipation for it to return. I have anxiety. Sometimes it's so dark, I can't see the colour. And without colour, every part of me feels empty. I first recognised my anxiety when I was diagnosed with post-natal anxiety. I've since realised that the deep knot in my stomach, that irrational crippling fear wasn't just nerves as a child. I was anxious. When I was in Grade 6 I was told my Mum would die in year. I remember hearing that information and having no idea how to process it. I wasn't afraid of death, I didn't understand death. But I was anxious and I didn't like how that felt. I have frantically sprinted as far away from that as I possibly could. Seeking happiness in the moments I could have with my mum, in the sunshine, in the flowers, in the rain, in friendships, in marriage and in having kids.
My life looks perfectly happy.
My smile is big.
My heart is full.
My family is wonderful.
I'm deeply appreciative of all I have.
Despite it all, I have anxiety. Running from it, ignoring it, hiding it and not talking about it doesn't take it away.
This body of work holds a strong connection to what I feel, where I've come from in my childhood, what I've experienced as a mother and what I've lost and always will grieve for.
Each piece on display at Urban Cow Studios is inspired by my experience with anxiety. The shadows, sunlight and colour are very symbolic of events in my life.
My work explodes with colour, I desperately desire to bring colour back into my life and into the lives of others. I'm deeply empathetic and considerate of the silent challenges other's are carrying. My drawings and paintings aim to bring acceptance and hope.
In the final week of the exhibition, with the state in lockdown due to COVID, I’m unsure if anyone will actually be able to view it. My intent is that each person who enters the gallery is able to feel connection and understanding. I want the viewer to take time to connect with the work. I hope they discover something new within themselves. It is my hope that the colours and layers refresh, challenge and consume the viewer. To reflect on where they find their happiness and what they are actively doing to seek it.
This exhibition has taken six months to plan, paint, create, destroy, restart, experiment and refine. I have put so many hours, day and night into this exhibition. Throughout the whole time, I have had so many eye-opening experiences as I've worked within this theme. For instance, I started drawing the shadows on a eucalyptus leaf and was totally enthralled with this. It didn't occur to me until a few days later how it related to the way I live with anxiety and the way that light moves and shadows shift. It's always changing, sometimes it's barely there at all, sometimes it's so dark I can't see the colours. But it always, eventually lifts. The leaf remains intact, still beautiful, unique and a joy.
I’d love you to visit the exhibition in person. It is on display the July 31st at Urban Cow Studios.
Thank you to Jack Fran for officially opening the exhibition and THANK YOU to Hither & Yon for generously sponsoring the exhibition and workshops. Many thanks to my husband Aiden Grant, who MC’d the opening night and supports me in so many ways. Thank you Urban Cow Studios for allowing me to hold this exhibition at your wonderful venue. PLUS, thank you to all of the lovely people who visited the gallery, came to the opening and workshops.
You’re support means the world to me. XO
